It sometimes crosses your mind that they should be ashamed. Whether it is an obese person or a smoker or maybe someone who simply has a bar of chocolate in their hand and not a cold pressed juice, we love to judge and shame these people. Is it because we have been conditioned to find their appearance or behaviour unacceptable or because we think that by shaming them we might give them the motivation they need to change their lives?
Strangely, we seem to think that making someone feel ashamed of themselves or their behaviour will give them motivation to change. Your snarl or joke or harsh comment changed their life for the better.
It is not uncommon to think that if someone feels lousy enough that they will take the necessary steps to lose weight or quit smoking or take their tablets. Unfortunately, this rarely works. Shame is such a powerful feeling that when we try and shame someone for how they look or act, what we are actually doing is shaming them as a person. And what will someone who has a habit do when they feel ashamed? They will keep right on doing it because it feels good.